Dr. Christiane Northrup is a board-certified OB/GYN physician and leading authority in the field of women’s health and wellness. She is also a New York Times best-selling author and has written the book Dodging Energy Vampires where she gives expert advice on how to avoid negativity, toxicity, and narcissism from others.
This article is derived from one of our most popular podcasts Dodging Energy Vampires – Are Toxic Relationships Draining Your Energy with Dr. Northrup
Am I an Empath or an Energy Vampire?
If you start worrying that you may be an energy vampire, that is the tell-tale sign that you are not. A Narcissist will never ask themselves this question as they are too self-centered to even consider it; instread, they will continually find fault in everyone but themselves.
Women with Super Traits
Narcissists love spending time with empaths because empaths are great at providing narcissistic supply. To make matters worse, empaths often fall prey to becoming dependent on the narcissist to feel worthy and loved.
However, there is a subgroup of women who end up in relationships with energy vampires because they possess a personality trait called a super trait. A super trait—such as loyalty or practicality—is a fixed personality characteristic and is as innate as your fingerprint. These women are successful in all areas of their lives, and many of them hold high-level jobs or run companies.
So, how do these women end up in relationships with energy vampires?
It turns out that these women strongly believe they can help fix the narcissist due to having success in all other areas of their lives. Of course, traits like loyalty and practicality do not affect narcissists, and the women end up feeling confused by how ineffective they are at helping the person when they are so effective and successful at everything else.
This type of relationship is a lose-lose situation; the woman will always fall short of receiving genuine love and admiration from the energy vampire. When the energy vampire feels her beginning to pull back, they throw her a “love bone,” an addictive psychological ruse that makes her think, “This time he’s going to change. This time he will get it.”
Empaths and people with super traits are people who are loyal and love to help people around them. They often fall victim to an energy vampire because they like to save people whom they perceive are suffering—a trait energy vampires thrive on. A person with a super trait cannot understand why all their efforts towards helping the energy vampire fail, and they may start feeling inadequate and stressed as a result.
This stress may be detrimental to your health, cause high cortisol levels, weight gain, and hormone imbalance. If you find yourself in a relationship with an energy vampire, the safest thing may be to get out of the relationship.